JOSEPH SMITH RETURNS IN A VISION

I GOT THIS OFF LARK NEWS.

Joseph Smith returns to assert finer points of doctrine




SALT LAKE CITY — Mormon faith founder Joseph Smith paid a surprise visit to the church's Council of the Twelve Apostles in May, appearing to them in a collective vision and insisting they return to key teachings which have fallen out of favor.
According to eyewitnesses, Smith insisted that:
-the church embrace its founding teaching that the "Negro race" is descended from Cain, and that "black people are black because of their misdeeds in the pre-existence;"
-polygamy is the preferred mode of living, and is acceptable to God as it was in Abraham's day;
-Jesus is Satan's brother, and their fight over this planet is a brotherly tussle for control.
Smith also commanded the Apostles to launch an "It's Your Planet" evangelistic drive to recruit new members, based on the organization's belief that in the afterlife each Mormon believer will oversee a planet or planetary system.
The Apostles emerged from the meeting ashen-faced.
"He put us in a difficult spot," said one. "Our mainstreaming efforts have not met with his approval."
President Gordon Hinckley, whom Mormons consider a prophet, immediately sequestered himself in his office, "like a whipped puppy," said one worker.
Smith's two-hour sermon also included lighter moments. Smith confided that he "wasn't getting as much tail" in the afterlife as he had with his 30-plus wives on Earth, and that the planet he'd been assigned was icy and desolate, far away from God "who finds me annoying," he said. Smith also said he'd tried to send the gold plates on which he'd received his "gospel" back to earth, but they'd been lost in the mail. He lamented that he'd declined package insurance and encouraged the elders to use FedEx whenever possible.
In recent years, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has tried to position itself in the Christian mainstream, distancing itself from beliefs some find outmoded. Those efforts could be disrupted by Smith's latest revelation, observers say. •

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http://larknews.com/may_2004/secondary.php?page=5