Wednesday, April 30, 2008

TILL THE STORM PASSES BY

HERE IS A GREAT SONG BY VESTAL GOODMAN





‘Til the Storm Passes By

Mosie Lister (Lillenas Publishing)

In the dark of the midnightHave I oft hid my faceWhile the storms howl above meAnd there’s no hiding placeMidst the crash of the thunderPrecious Lord, hear my cryKeep me safe till the storm passes by
Till the storm passes overTill the thunder sounds no moreTill the clouds roll forever from the skyHold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy handKeep me safe till the storm passes by
Many times Satan whispersHe says, “There’s no need to tryFor there’s no end in sorrowThere’s no hope in the by and by”But I know Thou art with meAnd tomorrow I’ll rise where the stormNever darken the sky
CHOSEN
HAS REQUESTED THIS SONG BY
CASTING CROWNS
PRAISE HIM IN THE STORM

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

WANTING TO JUST GIVE UP RIGHT NOW

Today has been an awful day. An awful couple of weeks, I am in a place mentally that I can not take confrontation. Someone has accused me of something so sick that my panic disorder and my depression will not let me get over it. If only this person knew what they wre doing to me. I am not trying to get pity and no one even has to read this, I am just venting, I am to the point right now that I just want to say the hell with christians. and why even try to live a christian life. you just get slapped down everytime, Being a Christian for me has been one disappointment after another. I try to read the bible and the promises but I guess they are not for me after all. I signed off some blogs last week I should of stayed off. They talk about how they have all been abused by the church and how wrong all the churches are but they don't care how they hurt people. Im tired Im tired of things always going wrong. I am tired of being accused of things I am not doing. Thats it I give Up I am done.I am to the point that I don't even want to be here anymore, now don't anyone panic, Im not saying I will do anything but I really don't want to be here anymore, I am tired of all of lifes hassles. Tired of fighting Panic and Depression and being open and honest about it, and then having it used against me, That why the last couple of days I have only been posting songs . But the heck with it I don't care anymore I am posting how I feel right now and frankly don't care who does not like it. Right now I don't even want to go to a church or anywhere anymore. Signing off for tonight

Monday, April 28, 2008

`DO YOU REMEMBER THESE SONGS

I was on El's blog and they were talking about an old song and it got me to thinking about some old songs. How many of you remember these?

I'm Henry the VII I am

http://youtube.com/watch?v=G5dK9FNPgA4


HERE WE COME THE MONKEES ( yes I had a crush on Davy Jones)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bC2d4DbpDx0


HOW ABOUT THIS ONE

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZoZScLTDzVU

AND OF COURSE THERE IS THIS ONE
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XGxPhMyD_Tc


OK WHO HAS MORE OLDIES BUT GOODIES......IF YOU REMEMBER THESE,,,WELL I GUESS WE ARE ABOUT THE SAME AGE.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Thursday, April 24, 2008

VIDEO WITH AN AWESOME MESSAGE.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=471a4cb08fed2f088ef1

This Video may make you smile a bit, but it has an awesome message. One we all need to learn.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

THIS IS NOT A REAL BIG NEWS STORY

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/students-sullivan-school-2025268-assembly-minutes

I am only posting this because this is the school my nieces go to here in Mission Viejo, And Alas!!!! Yes My BAD nieces were part of the protest,
Well at least no one had a gun, We can Thank God for that.

Someone also has put it on youtube already ..... I guess they are proud of themselves.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qR7GQwVZ-Jw

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

LEAD ME TO THE ROCK THAT IS H IGHER THAN I

Psalm 61
1Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.
2From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.


That is where my heart is right now Overwhelmed.I really do not understand the last few days, but I have to let it go. Holding on to it will only destroy me. God knows the. truth and one day he will reveal it until then it is up to him. I am done trying to defend myself God will be my defender. but like I said before trust is something I will never give away again I am convinced that most christians are to destroy and slander each other with no regard to how the other person may feel or the destruction it does to the other person. I really pray I am never that way, I don't want to hurt anyone on purpose. And God forgive me if I have hurt anyone.


Thank you to all who have come on here there are only few people here but the ones who post here have been good friends and just want you to know I appreciate it so much. thereare a few others on other blogs who have been good friends, but for I have logged off two other blogs. Well have a great day.


Here is a song by the Newsboys

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN PRAY

What do you do when your heart is so broken you can't even pray? When the hurt is so deep. When you don't understand, I have not been on here much lately, this whole ordeal has really set me back when it comes to my panic attacks, To the point to where I did not and still don't even want to live anymore. No I am not saying I am going to do myself in, but that is how deep the hurt is, I have had to go to my doctor and get extra medication. This person does not know the damage they have done to me, emotionally and physically,
Well I won't go on. I am just in a bad place today and lately that is why I have been quiet on here. I will try to post more later.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

NORA THE PIANO PLAYING CAT

Not up to posting today , but thought you would enjoy this,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0zgQAp7EYw&NR=1

It is really cute now all Ihave to do is get Chip to play piano that would be cool.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Let Down Once Again by Someone Who Said They Were A Friend

Once again I have learned the hard way that people who call themselves friends and christians can not be trusted. Someone I really trusted has said something so awful if they would of hit me with a hammer it would not of hurt so bad. Words are hurtful and they can never be taken back, I was accused of something that is so sick that I still can not believe what I heard.

I will not be going back on two blogs I normally post on anymore. I should of known better. I will not go into details because then I would be as bad as the one who is spreading lies about me, I really trusted this person. but just another slap in the face by a christian,

Well I will stop writing now before I become what I don't want to be and that is a gossip. My intnetions are not to hurt anyone they really aren't. I just had to write out some of my hurt on here, not many people know about this place anyway,

Chip and I are going to bed.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

MIXED EMOTIONS

My mind is something I will never understand, one day I will be alright the next down in the pit of dispair again, Today has been one of those days where everything looks bleak and dark. I told someone today that I really don't want to be here anymore. Things are going all wrong right now. I wonder where God is. Sometimes I just feel like he is hiding from me. then there are times I feel like he is right there, it is a roller coaster up and down all the time. I know every one has ups and downs it feels like I am in the pit more than I am up. I know I have alot to process yet. and sometimes I feel like I am getting nowhere, but my Pastor told me today that the fact that I was sitting in his office was God. because I have alot of reasons not to trust God or his people especailly pastors since my dad was a pastor. He said that I may not be where I want to be and a long road ahead but I need to look back and see how far I have already come. I want to believe that with everything that is inside of me, but then days like today I want to say the heck with it all. Well I guess I have rambled enough for today at least for right now. Good night for now

Chip sends you all birdie kisses :-)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

I like this song, and I always like to hear the stories behind some of the old hymns. Bill Gaither tells the story behind it is well.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KYP--c2LTfg

I deal with alot of depression in my life and I know down deep even though outwardly I may be depressed and all may look bleak at times. I know that in the long run it is well with my soul. Depression , panic, fear, loneliness nothing can seperate me from the Love Of God.

I have been told that I am not trusting God if I am depressed and that I was in sin because of panic and depression . Thank God there has been Godly people come along to say that no I was not in sin because of depression and that God Loves me even in my depression.

This is song has been a huge blessing in my life. I hope you enjoy it.

Friday, April 11, 2008

I'm Tired

I am very tired today, tired of all this junk going on in my life. Everyone tells me God has a purpose for me to be here, well I think it is some kind of a cruel joke he is playing on me. Sometimes I even pray to die. I am tired of the fight. I am tired of feeling defeated all the time, I am tired of being alone all the time. I am tired beating my head against the wall. Just when Ifeel things are getting better I get slapped in the face with something else that is going on. I take one step forward and 10 backwards it seems, Today is a very down day for me one where I just feel like giving up. I down deep in my heart that there is a God but sometimes I wonder is he really there for me, it seems like everyone is finding their happiness but me, I have had a major panic attack today, one to where I am still shaking, I'm scared, scared of my own actions sometimes. I am trying really trying but this sense of dispair has over taken me today, this day is awful just awful. My mind is running rapid with all kinds of thoughts. Thoughts of not wanting to be here. thoughts that things will never change. Crying out to God and feeling like he is not even listening to me. Well I guess I have said enough for now.