Today has been an awful day. An awful couple of weeks, I am in a place mentally that I can not take confrontation. Someone has accused me of something so sick that my panic disorder and my depression will not let me get over it. If only this person knew what they wre doing to me. I am not trying to get pity and no one even has to read this, I am just venting, I am to the point right now that I just want to say the hell with christians. and why even try to live a christian life. you just get slapped down everytime, Being a Christian for me has been one disappointment after another. I try to read the bible and the promises but I guess they are not for me after all. I signed off some blogs last week I should of stayed off. They talk about how they have all been abused by the church and how wrong all the churches are but they don't care how they hurt people. Im tired Im tired of things always going wrong. I am tired of being accused of things I am not doing. Thats it I give Up I am done.I am to the point that I don't even want to be here anymore, now don't anyone panic, Im not saying I will do anything but I really don't want to be here anymore, I am tired of all of lifes hassles. Tired of fighting Panic and Depression and being open and honest about it, and then having it used against me, That why the last couple of days I have only been posting songs . But the heck with it I don't care anymore I am posting how I feel right now and frankly don't care who does not like it. Right now I don't even want to go to a church or anywhere anymore. Signing off for tonight
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
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13 comments:
Mary: If you didn't care, you wouldn't post. Remember the promises of God. Remember those who love you. We are praying for you...
Okie
I suppose your right I just don't want to care it hurts to much,
When I stand
In a day
Where time no longer
Ticks away,
When I kneel
In a place
Where a moment lasts
A thousand days,
When I come
To the side
Of the One who was pierced
And who willingly died...
I shall see,
See so clearly,
No longer as through the
Dimness of this life;
I shall see,
See so fully,
The heart poured out for me.
...........................
Praying that you would know His heart and presence this day...
Mary,
You can't trust people--they will hurt you because they are human.
God gives us clear instruction what we should stay away from.
If we go where he says "No" we will see the consequences.
Nothing in this world should steal your joy to the point where you give up on God.
Mary, you seemed so joyful the last few days. You were having fun--why let one person take this away from you?
I think you are reacting and giving too much importance to people that have no such importance. If I am thinking of the correct blog, is is dark..and I believe the enemy uses it to destroy people. It happened to me. So I don't go there. I don't want to be entertaining the enemy.
Don't let the enemy steal what God has given you.
In these times of testing, go to Him and to the Word.
I only speak this because I have lived it so I hope you understand that I am telling you what I had to learn myself.
God will not let you make others more important that Him in your life. Stop those thoughts and turn them to praise. Listen to "I can only imagine" or any other praise music. The enemy can't stand it!! Don't let him take one more day of your life.
You will be tested and you need to be found faithful..so even if it means pushing yourself to open the Bible and put praise music on, you need to do this to change the direction of your thoughts. If you continue to keep those negative thoughts you will go deeper into the pit. Change the thoughts..take captive every thought and make it obedient.
I know Mary you WILL have a breakthrough. I did--it took many years of changing my thinking.
Will pray for you.
Chosen4Him
That other post by anonymous was not mine.
"If I am thinking of the correct blog, is is dark..and I believe the enemy uses it to destroy people. It happened to me. So I don't go there. I don't want to be entertaining the enemy."
nice
I don't want to slam other blogs there are just some I need to stay away from is all. There are some really nice people on the blogs but there is always that one who can make it look bad for everyone. that is what happen to me.
Mary,
that was me who said "nice"
I think it is good that people are encouraging you when you are feeling blue...but not nice that they are calling me (and other brothers and sisters) a dark tool of the enemy.
I wish you only the best God has for you.
Dusty
I agree, you are not a dark tool of the enmey. My post had nothing to do with you. I think you know that,
I do not want this blog to one that attacks people. In my post I was expressing my frustration with a false accusation. I am not naming names and will not. Im not out to hurt people.
I don't know this others person with any other blog. so I don't know who they were really talking about. and my reason for not wanting to come on those two blogs anymore is because of the way I have been treated by one person and one person only.
Mary,
Your 12:30 post--right on.
You are sensitive to the Spirit.
Don't let anyone take that away from you. You are also hurt by what hurts God. It is a privelege to share the heart of Jesus.
Bless you sister...and sleep well.
Chosen
Dusty,
I think you owe Mary an apology-I know nothing of the details of her situation. Only what she has shared on her blog.
I am entitled to my own perception of what the Lord is showing me through my own experiences.
Chosen
I just want to make one thing clear I have no issues with Dusty, I have always considered her a friend, And I hope she feels the same, anyway, my intentions was not to rag on any other blog, I just stated that it time for me to back away, because of a situation, that is all I am going ot say about it. I am sad because of the way it all turned out and it is one that as of now i don't think will ever be worked out. I was expressing hurt and I am sorry if I implied that any other blog was not good or was dark, I do not agree iwth everything on other blogs just as I am sure not everyone will agree with mine, and that is fine, But when my health was really bad and still is kinda these people were the first ones there to pray and I appreciate that and always will. It is only one person who has hurt me. not the whole group of them,
I appreciate everyone who post here. I really do. I appreciate the encouagement from Okie and Chosen and LTW I appreciate Dusty coming back on and saying it was her that posted what she did.
I just want to exhort you in true love and in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Sharing parts of your story publically, but without clear details is proving to be unfruitful at best.
You are putting people in a position of coming to subjective conclusions, and that is leading to vain imaginations;
A playgroung for our adversary, the devil.
One of your readers has just stated that they dont have all the information, but feels confident to pass judgement on another reader, in that an apology is due.
Another reader has passed judgement on a blog, albeit vague, and deemed it a tool of the enemy.
This is the fruit of inuendo and implication.
God is clear in His Word in regards to steps to take when a brother or sister sins against us.
His ways are proven, best, and for our own good.
I understand you are hurt, and for that I am so sorry Mary.
I pray you will find peace and healing in Our Lord Jesus Christ.
I pray you will fall into His arms, and recieve wholeness.
I pray you will consider your ways, and walk in circumspection.
God bless you.
Signed,
Beloved of Jesus
P.S. I just wanted to remind you that your true friends will always call you to a higher calling and a more excellent way. Embrace those who love you purely in the calling of Christ.
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