My mind is something I will never understand, one day I will be alright the next down in the pit of dispair again, Today has been one of those days where everything looks bleak and dark. I told someone today that I really don't want to be here anymore. Things are going all wrong right now. I wonder where God is. Sometimes I just feel like he is hiding from me. then there are times I feel like he is right there, it is a roller coaster up and down all the time. I know every one has ups and downs it feels like I am in the pit more than I am up. I know I have alot to process yet. and sometimes I feel like I am getting nowhere, but my Pastor told me today that the fact that I was sitting in his office was God. because I have alot of reasons not to trust God or his people especailly pastors since my dad was a pastor. He said that I may not be where I want to be and a long road ahead but I need to look back and see how far I have already come. I want to believe that with everything that is inside of me, but then days like today I want to say the heck with it all. Well I guess I have rambled enough for today at least for right now. Good night for now
Chip sends you all birdie kisses :-)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
MIXED EMOTIONS
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3 comments:
MaryB: Good morning! Perhaps today will be a good day? We are praying for you; lots of people care about you. But our heavenly Father loves you. Sometimes that's hard to see. Here in Oklahoma it is overcast with severe storms headed our way - possibly tornado's. But I know that the bad weather won't last and the sun sill shine again.
Have a great day!!!
I know the sun willshine that is why I say I have mixed emotion they go up and down so fast I cant keep up with them,
Mar Mar! I am sorry you are having a bad day but know I am praying for you and I know it seems dark and bleak but know the outcome to come is going to be so bright and full of happy times. Have you ever thought about journaling that way you can go back and see how God has been there in those certain times? I know that helps me to remember. Well hang in there friend and know we all love you and are pulling for you as you go through this time! Love you!
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