EASTER SUNDAY

Well here it is Easter Sunday and I did not make it to church today. I really wanted to go to Huntington Beach for church , but once again panic kept me home. I was ready to go and all ready to leave and panic just struck my heart. Now on top of that I am sad that I did not make it to church on Easter of all days. My week ahead if fairly busy, I am hoping that my health holds up this week so that I can work all week, Bills are piling up and no money to pay them. I am at my wits end here, and I know I am not the only one who has money issues it seems like everyone does now a days and withthe price of gas right now it has hit me really hard since I drive to each appointment, and I can not raise prices because they are on a contract for a year and a certain price so I am stuck til January,

Yesterday I was reading another blog and my former Pastors Name came up and I can not believe how angry I got that he was leading worship at another church on Good Friday, this is a man who stold moeny from a church and has been inappropreate with young girls. and this other pastor had the nerve to have him lead worship. it made me so mad that I said some angry things on that blog about him then later felt bad about it and went back and said I was sorry not that it was not the truth it just did not need to be said is all.

Well I may come on and post more later right now, I think I will just play with Chip my darling cockateil.

Well it is nighttime now and I have not done anything all day. I am so depressed today it is days like this that make me want to say why go on. Everyone tells me God has a purpose for me to be here but what just to be miserable? I really do not have any reason to be here, some would argue that with me. well anyway I won't go on about it, just a very bad and lonely day.