Saturday, March 15, 2008

MY TESTAMONY PART ONE

I was born December 12 1954, I will not go through my entire childhood, since it is a pretty sad story, but will just fill you in a bit to know the background I came from,

My father was a Baptist Pastor. It was hard for me to be in church when he was preaching because at home from as far back as I can remember my dad use to beat me and molest me, I can remember being in bed at night and in the middle of the night my dad would come into my room and start touching me in places he should not be touching me, and then he would beat me and tell me how awful I was because I allowed him to do this, So from the time when I was little til now I still have alot ofguilt, guilt I should not be feeling. One time when my mom was on a business trip my dad said I needed to be punished for all the things that I let him do to me and locked me in a coal bin,,,we had a coal burning furnace and we had a bin in the basement where he locked me in for 2 days there were mice and rats in there and I kept trying to crawl up on the coal to get away from them, to this day I can not stand to see a mouse or rat, anyway I won't go on anymore about it is best just to say I went through all kinds of abuse that no one would ever believe.

As I got older he went from just touching to other things, and would still blame me for it, and would still beat me for it . Well when I was 13 I had enough I was tired of hiding all the injuries I had, I called my cousin who was a priest in Ohio and he came and got me I ran away to a friends house and that is where I called him, Well I could not go to his house that is one of the first places they would look so he hid me in the Convent with the nuns, they were nice to me, strict but nice,

One of the biggest things to me was why didn't anyone do anything about what was being done to me, Why didn't my mom or my sisters step in and do something, I had married sisters at the time and later they told me that what could they do. well anyway, I still have to deal with forgiveness issues, I told you this was a journey I want to share, And will share more as the days go by, but I never want to make the post to long even though I am probably the who will ever read this, only one

5 comments:

MyLove4Jesus1999 said...

Reading this brings tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all this alone. This reminds me of a couple books I read. Have you heard of "The Lost Boy," and "A Child Called IT?" The author is who the story is about. Very similar story as yours, however, the abuser was his mother and his dad was the one who didn't do anything. It was amazing he survived. I haven't finished it to see how he got through it or escaped. But praise be to God that you were able to escape. If you ever need anything, someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to pray with, don't hesitate to call ok. I'm here for you if you need anything.

Maryb said...

Thank you ,,,You have been a good friend

Julie said...

Wow!!! I am so sorry you had to go through all you did. I was in tears reading it.Thank God you were able to get away from all that.
Thanks for stopping by. Please stop by any time. I haven't been able to blog a lot lately,too busy in real life:)

Maryb said...

julie
thanks for your comment, I will continue the story over the next couuple of days come by anytime you are welcome

Anonymous said...

Mar Mar! I am so sorry you had to go through that, I can't even imagine! Thank you for sharing and know that I love you! I hope through journaling and prayer that it will be a start to healing and know that all of us are behind you and love you lots! You are an amazing women and such a faithful friend! XO, Mandy